Melee

It has always bothered me that I contemplate things which don't bother most people I know. I don't find my friends fretting about the futility of good intentions getting lost in translation or how good karma seems to take it's own sweet time getting back to you or how much your mind and heart are so much in conflict that you are not so sure whom you care more about or how to even express that sweet knot that starts tightening each time you contemplate a particular someone. I believe that my life being lived out this way is fulfilling to the extent that I meditate on the problems that vex me which could be existential one second and purely gastronomic the next, but what about making a difference? Making a difference to people that you've indelibly marked them with what you believe is good in you and having them smile ever so slightly at their luck in coming across you. Not everyone needs to be on the front fighting terrorism or shielding their eyes from the sunlight maliciously reflecting off the sand dunes in the Sahara while they trek across the shifting sands to find out why the solar panel installed last month isn't working anymore. Likely that one of the tribal kids messed with it or a camel sat on it maybe, but everyone needs someone looking out for them; not just the people we deem "left behind" and worthy of our attention. There are many people in our lives who ache for a kind word or a warm squeeze or just a coffee invite that'd make the day seem just that bit brighter. We suffer from acute personal myopia when we deal with people in our lives and we don't slow down our run through life enough to read the signs they throw our way. And we lament the world is becoming a lonelier place! If nothing else, we'll always have our hypocrisy to live up to.

What prompted me to put these thoughts down in writing is a conversation I had today. He sounded so cynical about relationships and how we need to be secretive and selective to survive while I was arguing that being honest and selfless isn't about your survival, but about how you value the other person. It is so sad that we can't love a person without having that escape clause handy, without expecting that person to turn around and grind your heart into the dust and so what do we do? We give only a part of our love and we save ourselves while living a hollow life where your smile hides the fear she's insidiously plotting your ruin. When will we trust ourselves enough to know that we can get up and get on with our lives even when our personal life is in tatters. That all we need is our compassion and ability to love that we may heal and go forth and experience life again? When will we think for more than a fleeting second about things which actually matter like the people in our lives and how we treat them rather than have thundering arguments about the exact mailing address of Times Square or how there's a left you can take before the light which will save you 3 seconds getting to the nearest Circuit City?

Along with bringing economic and social growth, we need to see that we don't neglect our heart. Logic and rational thinking have important roles to play, but discounting the role that emotions play in shaping our lives is tragic. But that is something I'd like to talk about at a different time.

I hope we recapture our glory days- if ever we had them- when we were a happier and more hopeful race...